The other day started with a trip to another of Israels small number of airsoft shops. I'd been to this one before the last time I was here. Ron and the other store had combined to meet the minimum order requirement from a dealer in Hong Kong and it was time to pick up Ron's part of the shipment. It has been a running joke between Ron and I of one of the few shared movie references we have. It is the scene in Apocalypse Now when Captain Willard steals Colonel Kilgore's surfboard. Kilgore then has one of his helicopters flying over the river playing a recording of Kilgore saying how important the board is, and how much he wants it back. As we were leaving the shop, Ron called the guys inside and asked if the knew the scene. All I understood was “Apocalypse Achshav,” and I thought, “Heeeere we goooo...” Ron handed me the mic to his loudspeaker/siren and I was on.
“Lance, I just want my board back. It's a very good board, you know how hard it is to find a board you really like...”
There was a callback to this later on in the evening. We were going fishing in the Med at night and a couple helicopters (I'm pretty sure they were Cobras. Cobras sound a bit like a Huey. Blackhawks sound like a truck, and Apaches sound like Death sharpening his scythe.) flew over as we were walking to the beach. “Lance...”
The plan was to fish for squid, then cut them up and use them for bait. Our lures looked like large prawns and glowed in the dark. They looked like little shooting stars as they arced through the black sky. Unfortunately, Neptunus Rex was not cooperating and the sea was too rough and the wind too high for any fishing to be done. After putting our rods ashore, Ron ran back out into the surf and after stripping to my skivvies, I went in too. The water was warm and the beach shallow and sandy. I managed to catch a few good waves and said, “Hey Ron, this would be even better if some asshole hadn't stolen my surfboard!”
Let's rewind a couple days here. Over the weekend Nir, Ron's older brother, his girlfriend, uncle and myself went on a short drive to a park/archaeological site. A couple weeks before, Nir had taken me to see the ruins of Caesaria, and this was a bit related. We were going on a guided tour through an underground tunnel which carried water into the Roman aqueduct that supplied Caesaria. The water in the tunnel was up to a bit over knee height on me and was the coldest water I've ever felt in Israel. (Excluding the rain in the winter of 2005 when all I had to stay dry was a plastic tablecloth.) I'd say it was probably around 60-65 Fahrenheit- balmy by WNY standards, shrinkage inducing by Israeli standards. I got in a few good jokes about how Israelis can't handle cold and managed to avoid the instant karma of slipping on my ass.
Later that night Ron and I went to hang out with his girlfriend and her sister. I hesitate to call this a “date.” We were just hanging out on the Kibbutz where they live eating pizza, drinking wine and beer and playing sheshbesh. (Backgammon- Yes, I got schooled.) When we first got there my “date” offered me coffee, and I wish I had a photo of my face when I took that first sip. It was awful. Beyond awful. The kind of taste that made me wonder what the hell was in that glass before the coffee, and how someone could forget to wash a glass of...baking soda? Ah ha. “Excuse me,” I asked making my voice as gentle as possible, “I think maybe you put salt in the coffee instead of sugar.” She turned red, apologized and took the glass, about halfway through the door she paused and took a sip. Her lips curled, her face scrunched up, we all chuckled a bit and she disappeared inside to make a new cup. As soon as she did that I made my way to the bushes and spat a few times to the laughter of Ron and his girlfriend. A couple minutes later a fresh glass of coffee appeared and after waiting a few minutes for the grounds to settle, I sipped some mighty fine, and perfectly sweetened bean juice.
Not all is going according to plan. Eilat has been scrubbed due to some car trouble Ron has. his radiator is on the verge of going. With my help, he ordered a new one from the States, but it will not be here until after Rosh Hashannah. Because there are few things worse than getting stuck in the middle of the Negev with a dead car, our great Israeli Road trip has been scrubbed. To be honest, I'm not quite sure what I'd do in Eilat anyway. The undeerwater stuff is largely lost on me due to my glasses. Aside from some hiking, there's pretty much just booze, babes and beaches. And those are pretty easy to find in this country. So tonight we are driving up to the Kinneret for more fishing. We'll throw in some lines for a couple hours tonight, then adjourn to grill up some meat, drink beer and talk of manly things, then fish more in the morning. After that is Erev Rosh Hashannah, in which I hang on for dear life, eat a whole lot of food and try to follow along for the next couple days.
After the holiday is Alex's birthday wherein there will be much consumption of beer and liquor, the possible presence of women of questionable morals, loud music and a party which will end with my hung over ass on a train to the airport to meet my next Sar El group. I'm told I'll be somewhere in the North this time. As much as I like the idea of a change of scenery, I'll miss the guys in the desert. The Eli-Copter does not like making touch and goes.
While waiting to leave for the Kinneret I'll write a bit about the Air Force Museum. I should be trying to get a few z's in, but I tried that and it's not happening. Since I'd been through Beer Sheba a couple time coming to and going from the base. I try to read roadsigns wherever I go. That information can come in handy wherever I am. (And it has.) I saw two signs repeatedly, probably more because I was looking for them than anything else. One sign was for the Museum. The other was for Hatzerim. Hatzerim, I knew is the main air base in the Negev, home to the flight training academy and the museum. As the people on Sar El were finding out, when it comes to an area of my interest I tend to retain a massive amount of information. With that in mind, the guided tour left a lot to be desired. I'm pretty sure the tour guide did in fact have more technical knowledge than me, but spoke in generalities to make sure that too much information would not come out. (She tried to tell me that the only flights going over our base were A-4's on training flights. Sorry honey, I know the difference between types. They might all have been on training runs, but F-15 and -16's sound a lot different than an A-4.) One figure did stick out: 4 minutes. An aircraft going supersonic can go from one end of Israel to the other in 4 minutes. That's Tzafon-Darom, (North-South) the long way. 4 Minutes in time of war to detect, identify and shoot down an intruder. Actually less. A supersonic jet could reach a major population center in seconds. Is it any wonder why in 1967 the IAF took the risk that it did, deploying almost every aircraft they had to hit the Egyptians on the ground?
Our guide first took us through a museum which featured examples of portable SAMs, and early anti-aircraft guns (One was used by a Kibbutznik to shoot down an Arab plane in 1948!) and modern missile systems. The AGM-65 Maverick was proudly painted with, “Made in the USA.) There was also a display of the pilot's gear showing the difference between a helicopter pilot and a fighter pilot's gear. There was an entire room devoted to the ejection seat and survival/ escape and evasion pack. (Fun fact: IAF aircrew boots have the same tread going forwards a backwards to confuse anyone trying to track a downed pilot.) The point was driven home that with an aircraft being worth in the range of $100 Million and each plane being needed, it is a big decision whether or not to eject, and it is truly a last resort.
On the way to the next part of the tour we passed by two of the more famous Israeli Aerospace products; The IAI Kfir fighter bomber and the Arrow anti ballistic missile. The Arrow is the only currently deployed anti missile system. It was originally put into use around 10 years ago and has been constantly upgraded. It was probably designed after the Scud attacks Israel endured during the first Gulf War (Part of a Scud is on display.) and has been given greater importance by Iran's missile and nuclear program.
The second part of the tour went chronologically though the fixed wing aircraft, without giving all that much information on each. Starting with the WWII leftovers, the Czech made Bf-109, the British Spitfire, the American P-51 Mustang, moving to the first jets, the British Gloster Meteor. Then onto the “French Honeymoon” when the IAF few exclusively French aircraft, starting with the Ouragan, and Vatour, moving to the more well known Mystere, and finally the face of the IAF as it ruled the skies in the sixties, the Mirage III. There are two Mirages on display, one in Israeli colors, and one representing the upgraded Mirages that were sold to Argentina. Personally, I think they'd be better off without the Argentine plane, considering that most of those were shot down by the British during the Falklands War.
Then off to a 707 for a 10 minute video about the IAF. I'd actually seen the same video on YouTube, so that was kind of dissappointing. On the other hand, the plane I was sitting in was one of the aircraft that participated in the Raid on Entebbe in 1976. Clif's Notes version:
Palestinian terrorist hijacked an Aif France flight from Tel Aviv to Paris after it made a stop in Athens. They flew to Entebbe Uganda eventually releasing all passengers except those with Israeli passports or Jewish sounding names. The French flight crew also elected to stay with their passengers. With negotiations going nowhere, Israel sent several C-130 Hercules transports filled with elite infantry units and commandos to Entebbe. The Infantry troops secured a perimeter around the airport, the commandos stormed the terminal killing the terrorists. Two 707's were also on the operation, one for command and control, the other, (the plane at the museum) as a flying hospital. It was on this plane that the only fatality from the rescue force, Yoni Netanyahu- brother of Israel's current PM died.
OK, back to the present, 15 minutes left to run around and photograph! Holy shit, what do I get? I ran up some bleachers for an overall shot- gotta have that. Now, the 14mm for some wide, low angle shots. Run Run Run! Gotta get the Ouragans, those are some under-represented early jets- there's history there! Now the P-51! Gotta have a P-51! I love those things, especially wearing a Mogen David! The Black Spit! The only still flying plane from the war of Independence! And a kickass paint job to boot! Now onto the enemy aircraft. DeHavilland Vampires- check. Hawker Hunter-check. Pile of wreckage from a shot down Mig-17- double check! 007, the Mig 21 whose pilot defected from Iraq- done and done. A-4, F-4, F-15, done. Helicopters? No, not enough time, and I've got to hit the sherutim (W.C.) damn, there's so much more I want to see!!!! CHARAH!! (SHIT!!!) I forgot to get some photos of the IAI Lavi!
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